never, never, never give up
i have just spent about 45 minutes writing and re-writing and re-re-writing something about being disheartened and regaining courage – i was just about okay with what i had come up with when through some accidental keyboard combinations i lost my entire text. my entire 45 minutes struggle. all that was left was the heading. i don’t know what more to say about the fact that i’ve been having quite a difficult and confidence-eating-away week – it seems a lot of people around me were in a similar place; it almost seems like there was a collective disheartened-ness in the air. i had some deep:black (work) blows and personal challenges, and because i was already exhausted from a far too busy month i just didn’t want to have to be creative & positive anymore. the monsoon-like weather certainly didn’t do anything to help. in a sulky and fed-up sort of way i was actually ready to just give up and walk away – but then realised that i wasn’t really sure where to. for want of an answer i immersed in some beautiful and beautifully sad patti smith elegies which i found strangely comforting. somehow from there i finally made it back to the Artist’s Way and chapter 9 which is a lot about not giving in to the temptation of creative u-turns. well, from the Artist’s Way it’s not that difficult to go to a spoken word/poetry night (Tongue Fu) and that nurtured me with a lot of do-your-thing messages and dream-big, and the idea that life’s absolutely far too precious to reduce our dreams to something as safe as a pint of milk from the corner shop. safe and definitely not at all exciting. i accept that and take responsibility for the fact that i want a bit of an exciting life. great that there are all these messages of not-giving-up-ness painted, placarded, sprayed and plastered across east london – i dedicate these pictures to all those people that had a difficult week and felt it eating away their confidence.
(PS: i’m giving up on the header now: each time i change the font-size to something big it changes it back to something small. much as i’m into not giving up i find this not the right choice of battle at the moment)